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Graceful Perseverance: Paint Your Life with New Colors (3 of 3 week series)

Posted August 21st, 2014 @ 05:08pm

Welcome back everyone! This week is our 3rd and final week of my signature program - Paint Your Life with New Colors (shifting attitudes/shifting outcomes). This is a 3-prong program, a diamond in the rough to be discovered and practiced daily.


The 3rd prong pertains to relationships and forgiveness, something that is applicable to every relationship we experience in our lives. And, as a partner in relationships, there's a forgiveness component as well. Remember, forgiveness is always available to us when we need it. But before we dive into the subject of relationships and forgiveness, first note, your life is too valuable to allow “you” or “others” to sabotage it with dysfunctions such as constant anger, stress, disappointment, resentment or emotional turmoil.

Healthy, maturing relationships begin with each of us first as separate, unique and important actors in this movie. Did you know that more times than not when we feel perplexed by someone's behavior or actions, most of the time they are a reflection of ourselves, a mirror reflection looking right back at us. If we are to be really honest with ourselves, the other person isn't the person we are frustrated with, but their behavior triggers something in us that we do not like about ourselves. This is why it’s important when we are in any relationship with family, friends, dating or peers, we need to first look within and assess if what's really upsetting us is the other person or are we actually upset with ourselves. Still a mirror reflection either way, you may just be looking at the wrong person for blame and fault. There may be more going on than what appears to be right in front of you in that moment.Lifestyle Survival Kit 7-2-2014 copy

I've learned in my life experience with relationships, regardless of the other actor in the movie, the quality of each relationship highly relies on me, my thoughts, my actions, my heart and how I treat others in general. There are two types of people in every relationship. One is a giver and one is a taker. Neither of which is a good recipe for a long term loving relationship.  I’ve always said I have a huge heart. I’ve been too generous, too giving and as a result I’ve been taken advantage of because I will give to others first before I will take care of myself.  We all know the cardinal rule - “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” I live by this rule, but not everyone does. I’ve also learned that first I need to be better at guarding myself from the takers, so I can eliminate the next opportunity for someone to sniff me out.

Forgiveness, this is where the healing begins. This where the light meets the dark. Even with enemies, the best gift we can give them is forgiveness. Carrying the bricks of resentment, anger, frustration day after day only hinders our own life. Learn to save yourself from the destruction of others, lift your burdens and learn to “Let Go and Let God!” Thblog08212014is is genuine forgiveness, God’s mercy and grace. Forgiveness is the greatest gift of peace you can give yourself. You are the only one who can change your thoughts and behaviors towards others. Remember this when a relationship is failing.

We will always be evolving and growing through every relationship in this lifetime, but once we learn to look within first inner peace so we are able to practice love and forgiveness, it’s a perk to living a better life, then this is where your healing begins.

Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God.

This concludes the 3rd and final prong: Relationships (Forgiveness).

Until next week, God Bless!

Debra M. Pauli

Paint Your Life with New Colors (shifting attitudes/shifting outcomes)

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